Rethink Culture

[00:00:07.13 - 00:00:10.05] Good morning, good afternoon and good evening.
[00:00:10.05 - 00:00:14.07] Welcome to another episode of Rethink Culture, the podcast that shines a
[00:00:14.07 - 00:00:17.17] spotlight on business leaders who are creating intentional cultures.
[00:00:17.19 - 00:00:21.04] My name is Andreas Konstantinou and I'm your host.
[00:00:21.10 - 00:00:24.13] I'm the founder of Rethink Culture, a company that aims to help 1 million
[00:00:24.13 - 00:00:28.05] businesses create healthier, happier work cultures.
[00:00:28.07 - 00:00:31.04] And we just launched a new service, Culture Health Score, that turns your
[00:00:31.04 - 00:00:34.04] culture into a KPI at rethinkculture.co.
[00:00:34.10 - 00:00:35.04] Today,
[00:00:35.05 - 00:00:38.13] I have the pleasure of welcoming David Henzel.
[00:00:38.16 - 00:00:40.19] David is a lot of things.
[00:00:40.19 - 00:00:45.07] He's a serial entrepreneur with several businesses with over 500 employees.
[00:00:45.14 - 00:00:50.07] Some of them are TaskDrive, which is an AI-powered virtual assistance platform, and
[00:00:50.07 - 00:00:51.23] upcoach, a coaching platform.
[00:00:52.04 - 00:00:58.17] He has a few exits that he can boast like MaxCDN, which hosted 6 million websites.
[00:00:58.20 - 00:00:59.11] But
[00:00:59.11 - 00:01:03.11] what's important for him and where he spends his majority of time is spreading
[00:01:03.11 - 00:01:08.01] the concept of Love Not Fear through his personal development course, Managing
[00:01:08.01 - 00:01:11.19] Happiness and his organizational development course, Love Not Fear.
[00:01:12.11 - 00:01:18.07] And what stood out for me for David is when we run the cultural health score in
[00:01:18.10 - 00:01:22.13] one of his companies, it had the absolute highest score I had ever seen.
[00:01:25.08 - 00:01:28.10] Almost unreal in the high nineties.
[00:01:29.13 - 00:01:34.07] And in his spare time he's hanging out in his farm in Bodrum with his wife, daughter
[00:01:34.19 - 00:01:38.21] and as he tells me three horses and ten dogs.
[00:01:38.21 - 00:01:39.10] And two donkeys.
[00:01:39.10 - 00:01:44.02] So very welcome. Very welcome to the
[00:01:44.02 - 00:01:45.22] rethink culture podcast, David.
[00:01:46.02 - 00:01:47.22] Thank you very much for having me, Andreas.
[00:01:47.22 - 00:01:49.04] Pleasure to be here.
[00:01:49.04 - 00:01:49.14] Thank you.
[00:01:49.14 - 00:01:52.17] And we recently had a podcast where you hosted me.
[00:01:52.17 - 00:01:55.10] So it's nice to be on the other side of this as well.
[00:01:55.20 - 00:02:01.10] Now, I want to dive a lot into Love Not Fear.
[00:02:01.10 - 00:02:05.14] But first tell us a little bit about David.
[00:02:05.17 - 00:02:08.10] How was your childhood?
[00:02:08.10 - 00:02:09.20] Where did you grow up?
[00:02:10.01 - 00:02:14.19] And how did you end up through this path of entrepreneurship?
[00:02:15.08 - 00:02:18.01] and I assume a lot of highs but also a lot of lows.
[00:02:18.01 - 00:02:20.07] So what was that path that led you here?
[00:02:21.23 - 00:02:25.20] So I'm originally from Germany and I grew up really unconventional.
[00:02:25.20 - 00:02:28.03] My parents raised me without authority.
[00:02:28.05 - 00:02:30.20] So I was not really made for school or any jobs.
[00:02:30.20 - 00:02:32.07] And at some point I was kind of lost.
[00:02:32.07 - 00:02:33.10] Didn't know what to do with my life.
[00:02:33.10 - 00:02:36.08] And a friend of mine said like, Hey man, you're good with computers.
[00:02:36.08 - 00:02:37.16] How about we start a business together?
[00:02:37.16 - 00:02:41.08] And then I found entrepreneurship and it was like, ah, you know, that was really
[00:02:41.08 - 00:02:42.05] made for me.
[00:02:42.19 - 00:02:50.08] Um, I left America, I left Germany to move to Los Angeles after I sold my business in
[00:02:50.08 - 00:02:51.02] Germany.
[00:02:51.02 - 00:02:54.11] which gave me the money to get my investor visa.
[00:02:54.13 - 00:03:00.11] And this is where we started MaxCDN, which we exited successfully in 2014.
[00:03:01.08 - 00:03:06.11] And then my mother passed away and this was really tough for my wife because they
[00:03:06.11 - 00:03:08.01] were like best friends.
[00:03:08.02 - 00:03:12.08] And my wife wanted to move back to Germany but I could not go back to Germany by the
[00:03:12.08 - 00:03:12.22] conditions.
[00:03:12.22 - 00:03:18.04] And so we ended up moving to sunny Bodrum and we were pretty happy here in our farm.
[00:03:18.15 - 00:03:19.04] Very good.
[00:03:19.04 - 00:03:22.03] And what is Love Not Fear?
[00:03:22.11 - 00:03:29.02] So Love Not Fear is, I guess, a universal truth that every decision in life you make
[00:03:29.02 - 00:03:30.17] out of love or out of fear.
[00:03:31.14 - 00:03:35.08] And I used to be super duper introverted, you know, being a computer nerd.
[00:03:35.08 - 00:03:38.19] If you see the recording, you can see my nerd glasses.
[00:03:39.22 - 00:03:44.07] And I was uncomfortable being on a conference call with a customer and I was
[00:03:44.07 - 00:03:47.01] uncomfortable running a meeting with my own employees.
[00:03:47.17 - 00:03:50.13] And this was really holding me back in life and in business.
[00:03:50.13 - 00:03:55.10] And a very close friend of mine was keynote speaking and networking like a
[00:03:55.10 - 00:03:57.08] maniac at conferences.
[00:03:57.08 - 00:04:00.11] And I saw how much fun he had doing this and how good this was for his business.
[00:04:00.11 - 00:04:02.16] So I want to achieve this as well.
[00:04:03.04 - 00:04:07.13] So I did Toastmasters twice a week, which was in this public speaking training,
[00:04:07.13 - 00:04:12.05] public speaking course, which was very uncomfortable, very uncomfortable for me.
[00:04:12.05 - 00:04:15.04] And I did two networking events per week.
[00:04:15.04 - 00:04:17.04] And I just talked to everybody and their mother
[00:04:17.08 - 00:04:19.10] even though it was very uncomfortable.
[00:04:19.10 - 00:04:22.07] But it got better over time, so I lost my shyness.
[00:04:22.16 - 00:04:26.01] But the real transformation happened when my yoga teacher told me that every
[00:04:26.01 - 00:04:28.16] decision in life you either make out of love or out of fear.
[00:04:28.19 - 00:04:36.05] And this was, yeah, just super big aha moment for me, because before I always
[00:04:36.05 - 00:04:36.22] acted out of fear.
[00:04:36.22 - 00:04:38.22] For example, selling, I hated selling.
[00:04:38.22 - 00:04:42.08] I only sold because we have to sell or our company dies.
[00:04:42.16 - 00:04:45.07] But if I start selling out of love, if I know, hey, the solution that I have for
[00:04:45.07 - 00:04:48.16] you is really good for you, I can't even be a pushy sales guy saying, hey, Andreas,
[00:04:48.16 - 00:04:50.19] freaking buy this, it's gonna help you so much.
[00:04:51.04 - 00:04:54.04] Or public speaking before or being on podcasts.
[00:04:54.14 - 00:04:57.11] Before, if you would have asked me, hey, speak in front of a thousand people or
[00:04:57.11 - 00:05:00.07] shoot yourself in the face, I would have seriously considered the gun.
[00:05:01.11 - 00:05:05.01] But because I was always full of fear, do they think what I'm saying is stupid?
[00:05:05.01 - 00:05:06.19] Do they think I look weird?
[00:05:06.19 - 00:05:08.10] Do they think I have a weird German accent?
[00:05:08.10 - 00:05:11.10] And this was always holding me back and I was full of fear, couldn't present.
[00:05:11.19 - 00:05:16.04] But if I think like, Hey, what I'm sharing here can help these people in their life
[00:05:16.04 - 00:05:17.22] or in their business, it's not about me anymore.
[00:05:17.22 - 00:05:19.11] It becomes very easy.
[00:05:19.16 - 00:05:21.13] So it's the concept of love, not fear.
[00:05:21.13 - 00:05:25.08] And I'm, I want to spread this concept because it was so impactful in my life.
[00:05:25.08 - 00:05:27.08] I could give you 20 more examples.
[00:05:27.16 - 00:05:31.14] Um, and I'm spreading this through a Managing Happiness, which is a course
[00:05:31.14 - 00:05:36.07] where people run their life the same way you run the business by applying, for
[00:05:36.07 - 00:05:38.19] figuring out your core values, your mission and vision.
[00:05:39.07 - 00:05:42.05] And your goals, your nine day plans, basically run yourself the same way you
[00:05:42.05 - 00:05:42.22] run the business.
[00:05:42.22 - 00:05:47.01] And you also figure out your habits because I'm a firm believer if you have
[00:05:47.01 - 00:05:51.10] these things figured out and you do good habits that are good for your body, it's
[00:05:51.10 - 00:05:53.22] much easier to act out of love versus out of fear.
[00:05:54.10 - 00:05:56.22] And the other thing is we do this with companies.
[00:05:56.22 - 00:06:01.22] As Andreas just shared, we have figured out a way to create a pretty good to work
[00:06:01.22 - 00:06:02.19] culture.
[00:06:03.19 - 00:06:07.16] And so we're systematizing this so other people can also do this, that everybody
[00:06:07.16 - 00:06:10.10] goes to work out of love and not out of fear.
[00:06:10.22 - 00:06:15.22] What's an example of looking at work culture with love and not fear?
[00:06:15.22 - 00:06:19.22] What are some of the practices you use there intentionally?
[00:06:19.22 - 00:06:25.23] I mean, start, starting out with having a, a mission and vision that is exciting for
[00:06:25.23 - 00:06:27.02] people, right?
[00:06:27.02 - 00:06:29.05] That you kind of do something that has meaning.
[00:06:29.05 - 00:06:31.02] I think this is kind of where it all starts.
[00:06:31.10 - 00:06:34.07] And a good example, I always give us a good friend of mine.
[00:06:34.07 - 00:06:37.01] He runs Time Doctor, which is a time tracking app.
[00:06:37.07 - 00:06:41.01] And if their mission and vision would be to become the number one time tracking app
[00:06:41.01 - 00:06:45.16] in the world, he'd probably have zero employees that are excited about this, but
[00:06:45.16 - 00:06:47.02] their vision is to become
[00:06:47.02 - 00:06:49.19] uh, the driver of
[00:06:49.19 - 00:06:53.04] remote work or like the, what is it again?
[00:06:53.10 - 00:06:55.16] To lead the remote work revolution.
[00:06:56.02 - 00:06:58.22] And everybody in the company, they're all remote, of course.
[00:06:58.22 - 00:07:01.22] Everyone in the company is super bought into this.
[00:07:01.22 - 00:07:06.18] Their mission is to lead the remote work revolution and they wrote a book about
[00:07:06.18 - 00:07:07.06] this topic.
[00:07:07.06 - 00:07:10.21] They have the biggest conference on the topic called Running Remote, which is
[00:07:10.21 - 00:07:16.00] happening in April in Portugal, if you're there.
[00:07:16.00 - 00:07:18.00] I'm running a workshop there about love and fear.
[00:07:18.01 - 00:07:19.18] So we'd love to see you there.
[00:07:20.00 - 00:07:25.00] And so, yeah, so we're getting off track, but kind of figuring out a mission and
[00:07:25.00 - 00:07:28.03] vision that people get excited about coming to work too.
[00:07:28.03 - 00:07:32.00] I think this is like a good place, place to start in your company.
[00:07:32.12 - 00:07:37.04] So I want to dive into these concepts much more, but before, I wanted to ask you a
[00:07:37.04 - 00:07:42.16] question so we can get to know you a bit better, and the question is, what are two
[00:07:42.16 - 00:07:46.19] truths and one lie for yourself, in no particular order?
[00:07:49.01 - 00:07:50.01] Okay, so.
[00:07:51.15 - 00:07:53.19] I went to 14 different schools.
[00:07:53.21 - 00:07:55.09] I got kicked out everywhere.
[00:07:57.06 - 00:07:59.09] I cannot see pictures in my head.
[00:07:59.09 - 00:08:05.04] I have a condition called aphantasia and I ran a marathon in under three and a half
[00:08:05.04 - 00:08:05.22] hours.
[00:08:06.10 - 00:08:11.19] — So, what’s the lie? — They’re all tantalizing.
[00:08:12.23 - 00:08:15.17] I know you a bit better so I know what is the lie.
[00:08:15.18 - 00:08:17.13] But do tell us.
[00:08:17.17 - 00:08:18.19] Do tell us.
[00:08:18.21 - 00:08:24.10] Well, the lie is that I, um, I only ran a half marathon in two hours and 10 minutes.
[00:08:24.18 - 00:08:28.18] And, you know, I'm far away from the three and a half hours marathon, but I'm working
[00:08:28.18 - 00:08:30.04] on it.
[00:08:30.04 - 00:08:31.00] But the other ones are true. Yeah.
[00:08:31.00 - 00:08:32.15] I went to 14 different schools.
[00:08:33.13 - 00:08:37.10] Uh, and I also have this condition called aphantasia, which doesn't allow me to see
[00:08:37.10 - 00:08:38.15] pictures in my head.
[00:08:39.03 - 00:08:41.15] So how did this...
[00:08:42.09 - 00:08:47.00] this odyssey through the 14 different schools that you were kicked out from...
[00:08:47.03 - 00:08:50.11] how did this shape you as an adult?
[00:08:50.11 - 00:08:53.14] There must have been some trauma and some...
[00:08:54.03 - 00:08:57.05] like defiance coming out of that, right?
[00:08:58.03 - 00:09:03.12] Yeah, maybe some people also say that aphantasia is caused by trauma that you
[00:09:03.12 - 00:09:09.03] just I decided at some point that I can't feel that emotions are not very useful.
[00:09:09.06 - 00:09:11.03] And so I kind of really dimmed them down.
[00:09:11.03 - 00:09:13.03] So that's definitely a possibility.
[00:09:14.12 - 00:09:15.22] My father died when I was 12.
[00:09:15.22 - 00:09:19.18] There's also you know, some very characteristic of aphantasia.
[00:09:19.19 - 00:09:23.16] It didn't take me like it took me an afternoon to get over the fact that my
[00:09:23.16 - 00:09:27.03] father died, I just told myself, there's not nothing I can do.
[00:09:27.15 - 00:09:30.19] It’s nobody's fault, it is what it is, the only logical thing is to move on, so I've been
[00:09:30.19 - 00:09:35.01] always like leaning heavily on the logic side and not on the emotional side.
[00:09:37.06 - 00:09:41.15] Another, you know, I also smoked a pack of cigarettes when I was 12 already and I
[00:09:41.15 - 00:09:45.03] drank hard liquor around the same time when I turned 15, I started smoking weed,
[00:09:45.03 - 00:09:50.18] like 20 joints a day type of thing until I was 19, so I had a very wild, wild teenage
[00:09:50.18 - 00:09:51.12] years.
[00:09:51.22 - 00:09:53.12] And I think another thing that's...
[00:09:53.18 - 00:09:56.18] Shaped me in this regard because I went to so many different schools and I moved a
[00:09:56.18 - 00:10:00.21] few times is that I was always the new guy, I always had to connect with people.
[00:10:00.21 - 00:10:06.03] So it's very easy for me to connect with people. And also kind of thinking like
[00:10:06.03 - 00:10:09.10] deeper I think the chip on my shoulder is that I always want to be liked and loved
[00:10:09.10 - 00:10:14.04] because you know, you're always the new kid. You know, so I think that's...
[00:10:15.02 - 00:10:18.16] And I'm sure if there were some challenges, there were equal, if not more,
[00:10:18.16 - 00:10:20.06] number of opportunities.
[00:10:20.12 - 00:10:26.09] So how has this childhood journey turned into a superpower for you?
[00:10:27.09 - 00:10:29.19] I mean, aphantasia is definitely a superpower.
[00:10:29.19 - 00:10:32.12] It's also my Achilles heel, but it's definitely a superpower, for people
[00:10:32.12 - 00:10:37.06] always feel the entrepreneurial rollercoaster like, yay, F word, yay, F
[00:10:37.06 - 00:10:42.12] word, you know, so, um, and I don't feel this as much, you know, it's very
[00:10:42.12 - 00:10:42.21] limited.
[00:10:42.21 - 00:10:46.22] For example, at MaxCDN we were hacked at some point and, uh, the hackers got
[00:10:46.22 - 00:10:50.18] into a system and they were distributing malware through all the websites hosts on
[00:10:50.18 - 00:10:55.22] network, which could have been game over for, for us, but for me, this was like,
[00:10:56.00 - 00:10:57.01] Okay, this really sucks.
[00:10:57.01 - 00:11:01.15] But let's find a way to fix this, you know, kind of jumping to logic or when my
[00:11:01.15 - 00:11:06.06] wife was diagnosed with breast cancer and the doctor told me it also was just like
[00:11:06.06 - 00:11:11.15] my heart sank to my stomach for a second, but then after a minute it went just like
[00:11:11.15 - 00:11:12.03] back to my head.
[00:11:12.03 - 00:11:13.06] It's like, okay, this really sucks.
[00:11:13.06 - 00:11:14.00] I accept it.
[00:11:14.00 - 00:11:15.00] Let's let's deal with this.
[00:11:15.00 - 00:11:21.15] So I think this is, you know, always being calm in all situations and being able to
[00:11:22.03 - 00:11:24.07] just make quick
[00:11:24.07 - 00:11:25.06] logical decisions.
[00:11:25.06 - 00:11:28.22] I think this is definitely my superpower that helped me in my entrepreneurial
[00:11:28.22 - 00:11:31.21] journey and on the other hand being able to connect with people really fast, you
[00:11:31.21 - 00:11:34.15] know, which is definitely useful in business.
[00:11:35.12 - 00:11:37.07] Extremely unique I would say.
[00:11:37.19 - 00:11:45.06] We talk about tenacity and perseverance but you said that you shine a different
[00:11:45.06 - 00:11:55.21] light to it, which is acceptance and just you know you might be meditating and this
[00:11:55.21 - 00:12:01.23] thought comes to mind and you brush it aside and with the same ease you're talking
[00:12:01.23 - 00:12:07.00] about brushing aside breast cancer as something that is important, but you don't
[00:12:07.00 - 00:12:15.04] allow it to cloud your judgement and kind of hurt you emotionally, but you move
[00:12:15.04 - 00:12:19.11] into, okay, what can we do about it?
[00:12:20.00 - 00:12:25.15] So, yeah, it's a very, I think liberating way of seeing things.
[00:12:26.03 - 00:12:31.13] You know, when I went through a very tough time, I don't know, around when my daughter
[00:12:31.13 - 00:12:33.01] was born, so business was going really well.
[00:12:33.01 - 00:12:35.09] I was super busy with work.
[00:12:35.09 - 00:12:38.06] And then our daughter was born, which is beautiful, but also like throws a wrench
[00:12:38.06 - 00:12:41.22] into your system, you know, because like all of you who have kids know that this
[00:12:41.22 - 00:12:43.19] becomes extra stressful.
[00:12:43.22 - 00:12:47.12] And then two weeks later, my mother passed away and three weeks
[00:12:47.12 - 00:12:51.06] after this, my grandma passed away. An employee of mine came to me and said,
[00:12:51.06 - 00:12:55.21] like, Hey, dude, how can you function with so much shit going on in your life?
[00:12:55.22 - 00:12:59.03] And you're productive and you're in a good mood.
[00:12:59.03 - 00:13:00.00] Like how does this work?
[00:13:00.00 - 00:13:02.09] And back then I also didn't know I have aphantasia.
[00:13:02.09 - 00:13:03.22] And I said, like, I have no idea.
[00:13:03.22 - 00:13:05.18] And he said, please figure this out.
[00:13:05.18 - 00:13:07.03] I'd really like to know.
[00:13:07.12 - 00:13:09.00] And I thought long and hard about this.
[00:13:09.00 - 00:13:13.04] And the two things that came to mind was A, the serenity prayer.
[00:13:13.04 - 00:13:16.21] It's like God give me the serenity to accept things I cannot change, the power
[00:13:16.21 - 00:13:20.22] to change things I can change, and the wisdom to know which one's which.
[00:13:20.22 - 00:13:23.18] I think I really deeply ingrained this into my...
[00:13:24.13 - 00:13:27.09] my body and heart, my mind and heart.
[00:13:27.19 - 00:13:29.18] And the other thing is a gratitude rock.
[00:13:29.18 - 00:13:32.00] You know, so I have this rock that I pick up every morning.
[00:13:32.12 - 00:13:35.22] Actually, I just gave it away on the last EBC retreat, so I got to find a new one.
[00:13:35.22 - 00:13:39.13] But when I take this rock, I go through the things that I'm grateful for.
[00:13:39.22 - 00:13:43.03] You know, my healthy body, my daughter, wife, being in Bodrum, my dogs, family,
[00:13:43.03 - 00:13:47.01] friends, like there's so many things, and this makes me see how much beauty I
[00:13:47.01 - 00:13:50.06] actually have in my life, and makes me forget about the hair in the soup, you
[00:13:50.06 - 00:13:53.10] know, or the quote unquote big problem of the moment, which six months from now, I
[00:13:53.10 - 00:13:54.15] don't even remember.
[00:13:55.00 - 00:13:59.09] And this helped me to untrain myself of being like focused on only the issue.
[00:13:59.09 - 00:14:04.07] And this gives me immense strengths to just like power through things that come up.
[00:14:04.07 - 00:14:06.18] And at the end of the day, actually during the day, I have the stone in my pocket.
[00:14:06.18 - 00:14:09.06] And sometimes when something stresses me, I feel the stone.
[00:14:09.06 - 00:14:11.18] This brings you back to like, Hey, actually life's beautiful.
[00:14:11.18 - 00:14:13.09] We're going to deal with this as well.
[00:14:13.15 - 00:14:16.03] And at the end of the day, when I come home and I take out my phone and my
[00:14:16.03 - 00:14:18.07] wallet, et cetera, I take out the stone as well.
[00:14:18.07 - 00:14:21.03] And I go through the things that went great this day, because often you have a
[00:14:21.03 - 00:14:23.22] very productive morning, everything goes, you know,
[00:14:24.04 - 00:14:28.12] goes good and then 5pm you have an unpleasant conversation with spouse,
[00:14:28.12 - 00:14:30.07] business partner, lose a customer.
[00:14:31.13 - 00:14:33.22] And you think everything sucks but it does not.
[00:14:33.22 - 00:14:38.06] Yeah, so it's been very, very helpful for me.
[00:14:38.06 - 00:14:39.21] And how do you end your day?
[00:14:39.21 - 00:14:42.16] How do you wrap up your day talking about habits?
[00:14:43.21 - 00:14:45.21] You seem to be very thoughtful about your...
[00:14:46.03 - 00:14:47.19] I’m a total habits nerd, yeah.
[00:14:48.03 - 00:14:53.12] So ideal is to plan the next day, figure out what I want to get done the next day
[00:14:53.12 - 00:14:57.07] and then circle the frog, which is the task that I really don't want to do and do
[00:14:57.07 - 00:14:58.09] this first.
[00:14:58.09 - 00:15:00.13] So I have like a clear and also like time blocking.
[00:15:00.13 - 00:15:05.00] I know like what am I going to do when I get up.
[00:15:05.01 - 00:15:06.07] Not eating after 9 p.m.
[00:15:06.07 - 00:15:08.07] because this really ruins my sleep.
[00:15:10.00 - 00:15:12.21] And already prepping for the next day, like taking out the clothes that I'm going
[00:15:12.21 - 00:15:13.15] to wear, etc.
[00:15:13.15 - 00:15:17.03] To just like make it like really ready to go.
[00:15:18.06 - 00:15:22.22] And I've been violating this, but like not use the phone in the bedroom, you know,
[00:15:22.22 - 00:15:27.16] and just like read a book or listen to an audiobook and go to bed.
[00:15:27.16 - 00:15:30.21] That's my usual wind down routine.
[00:15:31.22 - 00:15:32.21] Because at 6 a.m.
[00:15:32.21 - 00:15:36.22] my personal trainer comes three times a week, you know, so I need a lot of sleep,
[00:15:36.22 - 00:15:38.14] but I need to get some quality sleep.
[00:15:38.14 - 00:15:45.12] I really like the paradigm with the rock as a very tangible reminder of life's...
[00:15:45.14 - 00:15:54.05] simplicity and the fact that we need to remember and ground ourselves if we can
[00:15:54.05 - 00:15:57.04] every day like you said it's a great habit to have uh...
[00:15:57.04 - 00:16:01.21] Also another habit think is really important, I want to sweat like ideally every day.
[00:16:02.11 - 00:16:06.12] Back in the days I felt bad going to the gym because I thought like oh I should be
[00:16:06.12 - 00:16:08.06] in the office I have so much to do.
[00:16:09.00 - 00:16:15.00] But working out on an ideally daily basis like six seven times a week just gives me
[00:16:15.00 - 00:16:18.14] so much more clarity in my head and makes me feel so much better because I guess you
[00:16:18.14 - 00:16:23.00] get rid of bad hormones or whatever that are floating around your body and you
[00:16:23.00 - 00:16:24.05] bring in the good ones.
[00:16:24.18 - 00:16:25.18] And it just...
[00:16:25.21 - 00:16:28.17] Yeah, it makes my head much clearer because in leadership positions, I guess
[00:16:28.17 - 00:16:32.12] it's way more important to make the right decisions versus just grinding more hours.
[00:16:33.05 - 00:16:36.02] And so this is also a really important habit for me.
[00:16:36.14 - 00:16:42.07] If we move to the other side of the equation, which is habits at work, what
[00:16:42.07 - 00:16:45.04] are some of the habits you practice in your companies?
[00:16:45.22 - 00:16:48.10] I personally or people in my business.
[00:16:48.18 - 00:16:52.19] As in your businesses, not personally.
[00:16:53.06 - 00:16:57.03] I mean, there's, there's a lot of like SOPs and recurring things that we're doing.
[00:16:57.03 - 00:17:05.00] Right. Um, one thing in terms of, I also encourage that employees, team members of
[00:17:05.00 - 00:17:09.06] mine, take the Managing Happiness course because you know, how you do one thing is
[00:17:09.06 - 00:17:10.00] how to do everything.
[00:17:10.00 - 00:17:13.01] And if you have, you know, the three areas of your life, if they're in order, if
[00:17:13.01 - 00:17:19.03] you're in all your, yourself, mind, body, spirit is good and your, um, family and
[00:17:19.03 - 00:17:20.12] relationships is good.
[00:17:20.15 - 00:17:24.22] You know, then it's much easier to be good in the work world.
[00:17:24.22 - 00:17:29.10] And also like not to neglect any of those, because if one of them falls away, you
[00:17:29.10 - 00:17:33.06] know, if you are, you get sick or you have problems with your relationships, then you
[00:17:33.06 - 00:17:35.16] also won't be able to focus properly on work.
[00:17:36.12 - 00:17:44.18] So yeah, I encourage everybody to figure out the habits they want to reach their
[00:17:44.18 - 00:17:46.19] goals and also in terms of planning.
[00:17:47.06 - 00:17:51.00] In Managing Happiness, we do a 90 day plan and we always like pick a goal and then we
[00:17:51.00 - 00:17:56.04] pick tactics, which are one time things and, uh, and habits.
[00:17:56.04 - 00:18:00.18] Things we do on a recurring basis to reach the goals that we want to reach.
[00:18:00.18 - 00:18:06.15] You know, cause like repetition, I guess, like always brings the, brings the, the
[00:18:06.15 - 00:18:10.22] fruit of your labor working on a consistent basis or doing outreach on a
[00:18:10.22 - 00:18:14.07] consistent basis, posting on social media on a consistent basis, no kind of having
[00:18:14.07 - 00:18:16.06] this consistency usually brings them,
[00:18:16.18 - 00:18:19.12] the results.
[00:18:19.12 - 00:18:23.09] One random habits that I personally like, it was not like a real habit, but we do it
[00:18:23.09 - 00:18:28.13] like twice a week at twice a year, is to look over all of our expenses, look into
[00:18:28.13 - 00:18:33.19] our credit card statements, and figure out which of the tools are we still using,
[00:18:33.19 - 00:18:37.15] which are we not using anymore, because they always accumulate like crazy, and
[00:18:37.15 - 00:18:41.15] also do vending renegotiations, kind of like always like work with the
[00:18:41.15 - 00:18:46.16] vendors to lower the price because, yeah, it's just like, you know, good,
[00:18:47.06 - 00:18:50.23] cleaning the house exercise that I like doing.
[00:18:51.06 - 00:18:55.13] Yeah, cleaning the fat or trimming the fat.
[00:18:56.07 - 00:19:01.03] Besides the goal setting and Managing Happiness course that you offer your
[00:19:01.03 - 00:19:07.19] employees, how do you see, how do you help people in your business challenge their
[00:19:07.19 - 00:19:08.22] limits and grow?
[00:19:10.01 - 00:19:11.00] I overwhelm them.
[00:19:11.00 - 00:19:12.03] No, just kidding.
[00:19:15.21 - 00:19:20.07] The thing that I like the best and what I'm really leaning into right now is also
[00:19:20.07 - 00:19:24.21] with the company upcoach that where we did the test with you, where we had the high
[00:19:24.21 - 00:19:30.06] score is to allow them to self manage and to give them real ownership.
[00:19:30.06 - 00:19:36.00] And let me explain how we changed our development process because it's really
[00:19:36.00 - 00:19:40.00] remarkable results in employee happiness and also in productivity.
[00:19:40.13 - 00:19:43.21] The original one, how I guess most...
[00:19:45.03 - 00:19:48.00] product companies are running, it's the head of product figures out what we're
[00:19:48.00 - 00:19:50.21] going to build and specs out what should be built.
[00:19:51.10 - 00:19:55.21] And then he tells like, Hey, developer A, you build this one, developer B, you
[00:19:55.21 - 00:19:57.09] build this one, et cetera.
[00:19:57.18 - 00:20:03.00] And then once they're done, they give it back and the, the marketing person then
[00:20:03.00 - 00:20:09.09] promotes it and then the customer success person or support person deals, deals with
[00:20:09.12 - 00:20:10.22] the customer questions, right?
[00:20:10.22 - 00:20:13.22] So everybody's like a small wheel in, in this machine somewhere.
[00:20:14.15 - 00:20:20.04] So we, what we did with upcoach, we removed customer support, this position
[00:20:20.04 - 00:20:22.07] and let everybody do customer support.
[00:20:22.18 - 00:20:26.06] Even though it's, you know, you may think it's costly to put a high end developer on
[00:20:26.06 - 00:20:30.00] customer support, but we really want them to understand
[00:20:30.21 - 00:20:32.16] our customers prompts, right?
[00:20:32.16 - 00:20:34.07] It was like really important for me.
[00:20:35.01 - 00:20:39.09] And, um, then our head of product does not give detailed specs.
[00:20:39.09 - 00:20:40.13] He just like create a list.
[00:20:40.13 - 00:20:42.21] We call it the pool, the pool of ideas
[00:20:43.06 - 00:20:49.00] of what people can work on and every developer picks the task or the feature
[00:20:49.00 - 00:20:51.04] that he wants to build that he's excited about.
[00:20:52.00 - 00:20:55.15] And then they develop it and it's also not super specced out.
[00:20:55.15 - 00:20:58.18] So they have to really think like, how should this, should this work?
[00:21:00.06 - 00:21:02.18] And then it's not the marketing person that announced it.
[00:21:02.18 - 00:21:08.00] It's the developer who goes into a user community and posts the feature that he
[00:21:08.00 - 00:21:10.18] just built and said, like, Hey guys, I just built XYZ.
[00:21:11.03 - 00:21:12.00] This is how it works.
[00:21:12.00 - 00:21:13.01] Because then
[00:21:13.01 - 00:21:15.09] a, he has like way more ownership over it.
[00:21:15.19 - 00:21:20.07] And he has to use his entire being in his entire skills to build this thing.
[00:21:20.07 - 00:21:24.15] It's not just like, you know, painting by colors, you know, like, Oh, this one is
[00:21:24.15 - 00:21:27.09] blue, just filling it in as it was before.
[00:21:27.15 - 00:21:31.16] And very importantly, they get the praise of like, you know, their scene that they
[00:21:31.16 - 00:21:34.18] built this thing and get feedback from customers.
[00:21:35.04 - 00:21:39.21] And this had the effect that a, our cultural employee happiness is really high
[00:21:39.21 - 00:21:42.15] as we saw in the score, I think we had a 94
[00:21:42.15 - 00:21:49.06] or whatever it was, and we had a 300% more output of features developed.
[00:21:49.07 - 00:21:53.15] Um, and our user community is like losing it, like how are you guys doing this?
[00:21:53.15 - 00:21:55.21] You know, it's like Christmas, you're shipping so much.
[00:21:56.07 - 00:21:58.18] So yeah, this was, was really impactful for us.
[00:21:59.05 - 00:22:05.00] And this goal comes from the choice of what you want to work on, out of a pool of
[00:22:05.10 - 00:22:08.18] development features and bugs to be fixed, right?
[00:22:09.21 - 00:22:10.16] Correct.
[00:22:11.09 - 00:22:13.07] Yes. Actually we have an exterminator role.
[00:22:13.07 - 00:22:17.13] So every week a different person is the exterminator and the exterminator takes on
[00:22:17.18 - 00:22:18.15] bugs.
[00:22:19.03 - 00:22:22.09] But yeah, I think it's also the big time.
[00:22:22.09 - 00:22:26.09] The big thing is the ownership over if you really build something that you're really
[00:22:26.09 - 00:22:29.06] responsible for that you have picked that you excited about,
[00:22:30.06 - 00:22:32.22] you do a much better job versus like if I built, you know, if we have a school
[00:22:32.22 - 00:22:36.15] project together and I built a volcano and you have to present it.
[00:22:36.15 - 00:22:38.01] I don't really care that much.
[00:22:38.06 - 00:22:39.15] But if it's like me really
[00:22:39.15 - 00:22:43.04] showing it to others, it just changes the dynamics.
[00:22:43.16 - 00:22:49.12] Also for the dev nerds, we also don't do, um, uh, forecast like people don't
[00:22:49.12 - 00:22:51.18] estimate how long they will need for a feature.
[00:22:51.21 - 00:22:53.00] We created budgets.
[00:22:53.00 - 00:22:55.16] So there's S, M, and L size features.
[00:22:55.16 - 00:23:00.10] And, um, for S feature you have X time to do this, this forces them to make
[00:23:00.10 - 00:23:03.01] fast decisions and not just like to overanalyze, you know, it's just like
[00:23:03.01 - 00:23:08.00] ship, because at the end of the day, the customer impact, you know, how customers
[00:23:08.00 - 00:23:12.19] will see it will, will give us the, the feedback, you know.
[00:23:13.12 - 00:23:20.22] And besides Love Not Fear, what other values do you use to define the culture?
[00:23:21.15 - 00:23:28.21] Um, usually it's, it's also close to, um, my personal core values.
[00:23:29.15 - 00:23:34.10] Uh, one that I always had in, in since the MaxCDN days is own it.
[00:23:35.07 - 00:23:40.04] Um, at MaxCDN own it, we build trust through total account...
[00:23:40.04 - 00:23:44.04] total transparency and accountability, but now our personal value is own it.
[00:23:44.04 - 00:23:46.13] Always do your best to be impeccable with your word.
[00:23:46.13 - 00:23:49.10] Do not complain or blame, find solutions.
[00:23:49.22 - 00:23:52.22] So also the same, we have the same value in our family.
[00:23:53.06 - 00:23:58.15] So my, every time I, my daughter complains, I always tell this core value.
[00:23:58.15 - 00:24:02.22] And now every time if I complain, she says like, Hey dad, Henzel's don't complain.
[00:24:02.22 - 00:24:04.04] We find solutions, you know?
[00:24:04.04 - 00:24:08.00] So it's kind of works, works both ways as it should.
[00:24:09.07 - 00:24:10.17] So yeah.
[00:24:10.17 - 00:24:12.10] I need to teach this to my kids as well.
[00:24:14.15 - 00:24:17.15] I mean, it makes total logical sense.
[00:24:17.19 - 00:24:19.12] And it works really great with Emma.
[00:24:19.19 - 00:24:25.12] Another one is like transparency in the business, to be really transparent with
[00:24:25.12 - 00:24:28.09] people because there's no need to bullshit anybody.
[00:24:28.09 - 00:24:32.21] You just like tell people if it's bad, just tell them what's going on.
[00:24:32.21 - 00:24:37.15] If you have a good culture, people will stick to you and come together and find
[00:24:37.15 - 00:24:38.21] solutions together.
[00:24:39.10 - 00:24:43.15] And also with Aphantasia hand in hand goes SDAM, which stands for
[00:24:43.16 - 00:24:47.09] um, severely deficient autobiographical memory.
[00:24:47.15 - 00:24:51.03] So, uh, it's much easier for me to just like be transparent because I cannot tell
[00:24:51.03 - 00:24:52.21] any stories because I'll forget what I said.
[00:24:52.21 - 00:24:55.15] You know, so it's just like, it's much easier to just be always real and
[00:24:55.15 - 00:24:56.12] authentic.
[00:24:57.00 - 00:24:58.04] And how about feedback?
[00:24:58.04 - 00:24:59.16] How do you give feedback?
[00:25:01.06 - 00:25:06.06] I remember from our early discussion that you're very thoughtful about that.
[00:25:07.09 - 00:25:11.07] So my mother always said, and my mother was the medicinal director of the BKA,
[00:25:11.07 - 00:25:15.06] which is the German, I guess, FBI.
[00:25:15.06 - 00:25:19.10] And she often had to tell people like very harsh things.
[00:25:20.06 - 00:25:25.01] And she always said, be hard in the case, but soft with the person.
[00:25:25.12 - 00:25:28.21] So for example, if I work with you and let's say you're always late, you know, I
[00:25:28.21 - 00:25:32.16] pull you aside, say, Hey, Andreas, you know I really like you as a person.
[00:25:32.16 - 00:25:34.22] You do a lot of good stuff.
[00:25:34.22 - 00:25:39.15] But this late coming business, you know, this has to stop because of X, Y, Z reasons.
[00:25:39.21 - 00:25:44.19] And, um, I want to help you to, to fix this if I can be of any service, but if
[00:25:44.19 - 00:25:47.00] this doesn't stop, I'll have to let you go.
[00:25:47.00 - 00:25:48.15] We can't work together anymore.
[00:25:48.21 - 00:25:53.16] So I'm very kind to you, but I'm also very hard in the, so kind with the person,
[00:25:53.16 - 00:25:54.23] but hard in the case.
[00:25:55.09 - 00:25:59.06] You know, I think this is like a really good way to, to make people that just
[00:25:59.06 - 00:26:01.22] things or the management bullshit sandwich, you know, tell you something
[00:26:01.22 - 00:26:03.21] like, Hey, Andreas, as you're doing this really great.
[00:26:04.09 - 00:26:06.13] And here you suck, you got to fix that.
[00:26:06.21 - 00:26:09.10] But you're also doing this great, you know, so people can compensate this
[00:26:09.10 - 00:26:14.12] better, to not feel attacked, you know.
[00:26:15.09 - 00:26:20.21] And ideally also always stay in Gestalt, you know, to stick with our EO game, just
[00:26:20.21 - 00:26:22.22] like share from experience.
[00:26:24.04 - 00:26:27.18] You know, not give advice. Yes.
[00:26:27.22 - 00:26:29.03] That's correct.
[00:26:29.19 - 00:26:34.19] And also like nonviolent communication, you know, not saying, hey, you always do this.
[00:26:34.19 - 00:26:36.10] Whereas like, hey, I perceive you doing this.
[00:26:36.10 - 00:26:40.23] You know, this makes me feel like, you know, we just talked about this.
[00:26:40.23 - 00:26:43.13] You did, you shared this frame, which I really like.
[00:26:43.13 - 00:26:45.14] You did this and this was the impact.
[00:26:46.01 - 00:26:49.05] And I feel like X, Y, Z about this.
[00:26:49.07 - 00:26:53.13] So it's like, you know, it takes away, decouples things and makes it much easier
[00:26:53.13 - 00:26:54.19] for people to digest.
[00:26:54.19 - 00:26:57.13] And I'll definitely use this with my daughter as well.
[00:26:58.02 - 00:26:59.10] I think it's really genius.
[00:26:59.13 - 00:27:02.19] It also reminds me of a couple of different frameworks.
[00:27:02.19 - 00:27:07.02] So Radical Candor by Kim Scott, which says you have to be direct with your feedback,
[00:27:07.02 - 00:27:12.21] but only after you have communicated, and I would add convinced the other person that
[00:27:12.21 - 00:27:17.02] you care about them as a person.
[00:27:17.02 - 00:27:22.23] Another way I recently verbalized this with another podcast guest is,
[00:27:23.07 - 00:27:26.19] accountability to the team, compassion to the person.
[00:27:27.10 - 00:27:29.11] So someone who's late.
[00:27:30.23 - 00:27:35.16] If someone's late to a meeting by five minutes, they are wasting five minutes of
[00:27:35.16 - 00:27:36.19] everyone's time.
[00:27:36.22 - 00:27:41.13] So they have accountability to the group for the time they wasted.
[00:27:41.22 - 00:27:47.08] However, if that person has had really bad news about someone they really care, the
[00:27:47.08 - 00:27:53.10] group has to be compassionate, or the individual has to be compassionate to that person.
[00:27:54.18 - 00:27:58.11] Right? So we show compassion to the person, we have to be human
[00:27:59.11 - 00:28:06.14] and see each person with compassion, but we also have to consider accountability to
[00:28:06.14 - 00:28:08.17] the team.
[00:28:08.17 - 00:28:16.07] And the two might seem like they are a cognitive dissonance, which means hold two
[00:28:16.07 - 00:28:20.01] opposing thoughts in your brain at the same time, but they're not opposing,
[00:28:20.05 - 00:28:24.16] because accountability is to the group and compassion is to the person.
[00:28:26.08 - 00:28:30.13] Which I find a really nice way to frame that difference.
[00:28:31.10 - 00:28:35.19] Yeah, so it reminds me of our mutual friend, Haluk, I think he was also on your on
[00:28:35.19 - 00:28:41.01] your podcast, who runs a complete Teal organization.
[00:28:41.17 - 00:28:44.15] For those who don't know it's coming from a book called
[00:28:44.15 - 00:28:46.10] Reinventing Organizations.
[00:28:46.22 - 00:28:52.10] And he said like, hiring and firing the team fires people not the manager who only
[00:28:52.10 - 00:28:55.16] looks at KPIs and because the team really knows if something's going on in the
[00:28:55.16 - 00:28:56.17] person's life,
[00:28:56.22 - 00:28:59.02] that this is why he's not performing right now.
[00:28:59.02 - 00:29:03.10] Or if he's like has a side hustle, you know, because then they'd be pissed
[00:29:03.10 - 00:29:04.16] and fire him.
[00:29:05.16 - 00:29:08.20] And another one would with feedback that I really like doing is I like to do when I
[00:29:08.20 - 00:29:11.11] do my one on ones.
[00:29:11.11 - 00:29:14.04] I like to ask three questions like checking questions.
[00:29:15.04 - 00:29:18.19] One what's going really great, you know, kind of like US style good news, people
[00:29:18.19 - 00:29:23.19] can like show what to do to lighten the mood, then what is draining you?
[00:29:24.01 - 00:29:28.08] Because often it's like really excavates things that they're not even aware of that
[00:29:28.08 - 00:29:31.16] this is something that's not going great, you know, project, it's not rolling out
[00:29:31.16 - 00:29:33.17] whatever.
[00:29:33.17 - 00:29:37.13] And the last one, how would you rate your performance from zero to 10 over the last
[00:29:37.13 - 00:29:38.20] since we last talked?
[00:29:39.07 - 00:29:43.01] Because this also gives me opens the door for me to give you direct feedback.
[00:29:43.01 - 00:29:44.11] If I do not like something, okay.
[00:29:44.11 - 00:29:48.19] You think you're an eight, but I think you perform the like a four because I know you
[00:29:48.19 - 00:29:50.08] could do X Y Z better.
[00:29:50.23 - 00:29:57.04] Um, and once people get into the habit of this to do this on a weekly basis, it
[00:29:57.04 - 00:30:01.16] becomes really easy for people to, to get feedback and also get, you know, like I
[00:30:01.16 - 00:30:06.14] think annual reviews are complete BS because, you know, maybe it's just
[00:30:06.16 - 00:30:12.08] with my SDAM, with my bad memory that I can't remember stuff, but like, I think
[00:30:12.08 - 00:30:14.22] it's completely pointless to do it after year.
[00:30:14.22 - 00:30:19.01] And actually, if you do the annual review, you could look back at these, these weekly
[00:30:19.01 - 00:30:22.04] check-ins and like kind of add up the numbers and make based on this, you know,
[00:30:22.04 - 00:30:25.10] like how would you, how did we both rate your performance?
[00:30:25.10 - 00:30:29.20] And then based on this, give you a bonus or, or like, you know, put you on a
[00:30:29.20 - 00:30:31.05] performance improvement plan.
[00:30:31.05 - 00:30:32.01] Yeah.
[00:30:32.11 - 00:30:33.19] I think I totally agree.
[00:30:33.19 - 00:30:41.19] Performance reviews have all the potential to be damaging to the individual, creating
[00:30:41.19 - 00:30:45.10] a sense of fear about what's coming.
[00:30:45.10 - 00:30:48.16] And they tend, they're an excuse for postponing feedback, whereas feedback has
[00:30:48.16 - 00:30:50.16] to be timely.
[00:30:50.17 - 00:30:55.22] And we have to look at performance reviews as coaching rather than you're here to be
[00:30:55.22 - 00:30:58.04] judged for
[00:30:58.04 - 00:31:00.13] what did in the last six months.
[00:31:00.13 - 00:31:06.08] I know you're short of time, so let's move into my favorite closing questions, which
[00:31:06.08 - 00:31:12.05] is if you were to create the best workplace out there, and you actually have
[00:31:12.05 - 00:31:17.13] one of the best workplaces out there already, where would you start?
[00:31:18.07 - 00:31:23.23] I'll probably start with core values and collectively agree on like, what are the
[00:31:23.23 - 00:31:29.08] values that we all cherish and value and really involve the team to, to come up
[00:31:29.08 - 00:31:32.22] with them and also put some aspirational values in there.
[00:31:32.22 - 00:31:37.07] Something that we currently not probably want to aspire to and then make every
[00:31:37.07 - 00:31:41.07] decision that you make, explain them with the core values.
[00:31:41.10 - 00:31:45.20] So it's easier for people to understand, you know, if they're doing something good
[00:31:45.20 - 00:31:47.16] or bad and, you know, because.
[00:31:47.23 - 00:31:51.05] At the end of the day, if they really understand this framework, they know the
[00:31:51.05 - 00:31:54.13] vision and the mission of the company and know the core values, it's easy for them
[00:31:54.13 - 00:32:00.01] to make decisions the same way you would make them and something that we do to make
[00:32:00.01 - 00:32:04.07] people understand that we put the core values already in our job posting.
[00:32:04.07 - 00:32:08.10] We share, talk about core values in the hiring process.
[00:32:08.10 - 00:32:11.20] And then once somebody's hired, we tell them, we do like an onboarding thing that
[00:32:11.20 - 00:32:15.07] everybody goes through those hired this month and share with them
[00:32:15.23 - 00:32:20.01] our core values and core value stories, how somebody really lived up to the core
[00:32:20.01 - 00:32:22.14] values and why we made certain decisions about that.
[00:32:22.14 - 00:32:25.20] So it's easier for them to align with them.
[00:32:25.20 - 00:32:30.10] I think that's probably like, if you would have to pick one, this is where I would start.
[00:32:30.22 - 00:32:36.04] And to leaders who are not as intentional about their cultures, they are driving on
[00:32:36.16 - 00:32:38.16] culture by default mode.
[00:32:38.22 - 00:32:40.07] What would you say to them?
[00:32:45.05 - 00:32:49.19] Take the Managing Happiness course, figure out your own values and start from there.
[00:32:50.10 - 00:32:52.19] You know, kind of self leadership before you...
[00:32:53.13 - 00:32:57.13] If you're not properly leading yourself, it's hard to lead others.
[00:32:58.00 - 00:33:04.22] And sometimes, like my father or even my sons have asked me, why do I go to a
[00:33:04.22 - 00:33:06.04] psychotherapist?
[00:33:06.16 - 00:33:11.22] And one of my answers is, I go there to find what my blind spots are.
[00:33:12.11 - 00:33:16.01] My blind spots were programmed without my knowledge.
[00:33:16.13 - 00:33:23.20] When I was five or 10, I was simply copying the behavior that I was seeing around me.
[00:33:24.02 - 00:33:27.04] And now that I've grown up, I realized
[00:33:27.22 - 00:33:35.04] that I need to hand pick and inspect every one of these blind spots, the stuff that
[00:33:35.04 - 00:33:40.13] others see in me, but I don't personally see because my back is turned away from
[00:33:40.13 - 00:33:44.19] them, or it's in, you know, I don't have eyes on my back.
[00:33:45.08 - 00:33:49.22] And so I do these sessions with my psychotherapist to figure out what my
[00:33:49.22 - 00:33:54.10] blind spots are and then examine them and figure out if they are part of the self
[00:33:54.10 - 00:33:57.07] that I want to
[00:33:57.07 - 00:34:00.20] evolve to or who i am really.
[00:34:00.20 - 00:34:01.13] That’s beautiful.
[00:34:01.13 - 00:34:05.04] I think it's one of our, sorry, I have so many thoughts about this.
[00:34:06.16 - 00:34:13.13] Um, one thing I think this is like one of our core missions to come during our
[00:34:13.13 - 00:34:19.04] lifetime to find the patterns that we have been programmed into us that are not good,
[00:34:19.04 - 00:34:23.23] that we don't think are good and break the, break the cycle so you don't pass it
[00:34:23.23 - 00:34:25.01] on to our kids.
[00:34:25.07 - 00:34:28.16] You know, I think it's like one of the main things that we, we want to do.
[00:34:29.08 - 00:34:34.04] My wife comes from a Turkish family and they're way more emotional than we were.
[00:34:34.04 - 00:34:37.16] My father brought with a friend, they brought Shambhala to Europe, which is a
[00:34:37.16 - 00:34:38.10] Buddhist religion.
[00:34:38.10 - 00:34:40.16] So there was never any yelling in our household.
[00:34:40.16 - 00:34:43.08] So when we had a fight, we talked the way we're talking right now.
[00:34:44.10 - 00:34:49.05] And, um, you know, my father always said, if you have to yell, your argument is too weak.
[00:34:49.07 - 00:34:54.11] And, um, you know, my wife used to yell at our daughter and, you know, I see this as
[00:34:54.11 - 00:34:55.04] a form of violence.
[00:34:55.04 - 00:34:55.22] So I didn't want that.
[00:34:55.22 - 00:34:57.11] So, but every time when I
[00:34:57.11 - 00:35:00.22] critiqued her while she was upset and yelling at Emma, it got even worse.
[00:35:00.22 - 00:35:04.04] You know, but when we talked about this later, she also sees that she doesn't want
[00:35:04.04 - 00:35:06.01] to do this, but it's like programmed in her.
[00:35:06.01 - 00:35:07.04] So we came up with a safe word.
[00:35:07.04 - 00:35:11.04] If I say faul de banan, which means like rotten bananas in, in German, because we
[00:35:11.04 - 00:35:13.17] stood in front of someone else as we talked about this.
[00:35:14.13 - 00:35:20.04] Then when I give it this keyword, it's easy for her to, you know, flip back to,
[00:35:20.04 - 00:35:21.02] cause I'm not critiquing her.
[00:35:21.02 - 00:35:23.22] I'm just like saying this, which reminds her of this thing that she actually
[00:35:23.22 - 00:35:25.14] doesn't want to do and it's really helped.
[00:35:25.14 - 00:35:27.05] And we, we solved that.
[00:35:27.20 - 00:35:32.22] And another thing I want to share, which is cool, which I do with my people that I
[00:35:32.22 - 00:35:38.05] work closely with on a regular basis, I ask them, what is my superpower?
[00:35:38.22 - 00:35:40.16] What am I really good at?
[00:35:40.23 - 00:35:45.05] What is something that I'm good at, but you can tell that I'm not like doing it?
[00:35:45.11 - 00:35:47.20] And what is something that I flat out suck at?
[00:35:47.22 - 00:35:52.23] And I got like some super cool, cool insights from that.
[00:35:53.11 - 00:35:57.05] So this is something you ask your friends for feedback on.
[00:35:57.05 - 00:36:00.16] Friends and business partners, co-workers, yeah.
[00:36:00.16 - 00:36:01.22] That work also with me.
[00:36:02.10 - 00:36:06.20] And David, I want to respect your time because I know you are limited.
[00:36:07.11 - 00:36:10.10] What's one thought you'd like to leave the audience with?
[00:36:12.07 - 00:36:19.10] Um, I want you to think about the areas in your life where you often act out of fear
[00:36:19.10 - 00:36:23.08] and not out of love, and then reevaluate these things.
[00:36:23.08 - 00:36:28.01] If you can not make the go, go the other route causes like made my life so much
[00:36:28.01 - 00:36:29.16] better and so much more colorful.
[00:36:30.02 - 00:36:34.05] And a trick is to listen to your emotions, like how you feel about the thing that
[00:36:34.05 - 00:36:35.11] you're doing right now.
[00:36:35.22 - 00:36:37.16] And if it feels good,
[00:36:37.16 - 00:36:40.04] Just go if it doesn't feel good to take a step back.
[00:36:40.04 - 00:36:41.14] What is what I'm doing to stay in Gestalt.
[00:36:41.14 - 00:36:46.10] I'll just take a step back and think about is this something that is the wrong thing
[00:36:46.10 - 00:36:46.19] to do?
[00:36:46.19 - 00:36:50.23] Is it against my values is against some mission or vision or is just outside of my
[00:36:50.23 - 00:36:51.19] comfort zone?
[00:36:51.19 - 00:36:57.01] And often then this helps me to just then switch into acting out of love and not out
[00:36:57.01 - 00:36:57.10] of fear.
[00:36:57.10 - 00:37:01.07] For example, my wife asking me to do some work around the house, like hang up this
[00:37:01.07 - 00:37:02.23] picture or like put this piece of furniture together.
[00:37:02.23 - 00:37:05.22] I always I hated this with a passion.
[00:37:06.07 - 00:37:09.11] I would have preferred to do my taxes over this and I always did it only out of fear
[00:37:09.11 - 00:37:11.01] to not have conflict with her.
[00:37:11.10 - 00:37:17.19] But if I switch to do that out of love because I want to make my wife happy and I
[00:37:17.19 - 00:37:21.07] want to make our place nicer, often the task is not that grueling and it's
[00:37:21.07 - 00:37:22.04] actually fun.
[00:37:22.04 - 00:37:25.13] Because if I do it with fear, then the end result is not good and then I have a fight
[00:37:25.13 - 00:37:26.11] with her afterwards.
[00:37:26.11 - 00:37:30.23] So anyhow, just think about the way you act out of love and not out of fear.
[00:37:30.23 - 00:37:31.19] And switch.
[00:37:32.06 - 00:37:41.19] David, it's been a storm of wisdom in these 39 minutes so far.
[00:37:42.19 - 00:37:49.07] I didn't expect so much takeaway value, so much humility, so much vulnerability.
[00:37:51.04 - 00:37:56.10] I would say you're a hidden force, a quiet force.
[00:37:58.22 - 00:38:00.22] With you know, incredible pockets of wisdom.
[00:38:00.22 - 00:38:07.08] And I will listen to the podcast again and try and steal as many of your power habits
[00:38:07.08 - 00:38:11.22] for powering yourself through the day as I can.
[00:38:13.04 - 00:38:14.10] So thank you for being with us.
[00:38:14.10 - 00:38:18.19] You can also join one of the next Magic Happens cohorts, then you can really see detailed
[00:38:18.19 - 00:38:22.04] how I'm running my habits.
[00:38:22.16 - 00:38:24.19] So thank you very much for having me on, Andreas.
[00:38:24.19 - 00:38:26.01] It was a real pleasure.
[00:38:27.00 - 00:38:28.08] Thank you David.
[00:38:28.08 - 00:38:30.04] And thank you to everyone who listened to us.
[00:38:30.04 - 00:38:34.13] If you liked the show, you can support us by telling your friends all about this, or
[00:38:34.13 - 00:38:37.13] you can leave a comment in your favorite podcast app.
[00:38:37.19 - 00:38:40.23] And if you prefer to watch and not just listen, you can subscribe to our YouTube
[00:38:40.23 - 00:38:46.16] channel on youtube.com slash {, the { sign, rethink culture.
[00:38:47.02 - 00:38:50.10] You can also tell us what you think about the podcast or
[00:38:50.10 - 00:38:54.17] tell us about which guests we should be inviting here by emailing
[00:38:54.17 - 00:38:57.01] rethink{rethinkculture.co.
[00:38:57.01 - 00:39:03.15] And as a parting few words, keep on leading, keep on creating a happier
[00:39:03.15 - 00:39:06.22] workplace for you and for those around you.